I have no energy

Sometimes writing is like therapy...but if you're depressed or exhausted...who wants to write or even talk? I used to be so tired after school when I was little that I couldn't talk...I just couldn't. My biology teacher said you get your energy from your mom. My mom went to sleep every day after work...I know how she feels. Now that I have a really messed up back, I take pain medicine...nothing serious but enough to make me tired all the time. I got shots in my back last week...epidural steroid shots. Steroids make most people unable to sleep because they have so much energy. It just made me want to eat everything and do nothing. So...that's what I've been doing this weekend. I'm tired...too tired to live sometimes...no wait too sad to live sometimes. I'm a counselor. I can make you feel better, and sometimes I can make myself feel better, but it always comes back. I hope I find my way back to happy. I haven't seen it since Amanda was murdered. She was one of my best friends ever. She didn't mind that I was grouchy and she was sunshiney...she loved me anyway and now she's gone. She can never be replaced. Ok other than that stuff...I'm blessed. I have a job. So many people don't right now. I wish I was better at it...but I'm still working on that. I have Jon who is amazing. He is so awesome you just don't know. He can't clean house to save his life but he loves me. I have a car...also something a lot of people don't have. I have a great elderly cat who refuses to die. I just need to focus on the good stuff and make myself get off of the couch. That should fix it...ok getting off the couch...to take a nap.